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Please, no matter what race, religion, sexual preference, or diverse sub culture you belong to, remember to bathe. Over 14 million people suffer from non-bathing. But you can help. The next time you smell someone whose personal hygiene equates to that of a Butari Bushman who was forced to build himself a hut out of his own fesces because of a drought, introduce them to our wonderful friend, soap. Yes for only 39 cents, about the price of a cup of coffee, you can introduce a smelly bastard to the world of cleanliness. Some will argue that covering oneself with smelly oils, is a substitution for bathing, but science has proven that those that bathe make the people around them 90% more amicable and happy, as opposed to those who don’t bathe or use some form of “alternative” cleansing. Remember, hope for the smelly begins with you, so pick up that phone and call the Clean Smelling People fund and make a pledge. Within a few weeks you will receive a photograph from your smelly person, through whom your contribution of soap has dramatically improved, thier lives. Here is a letter from Ryan, a 32 year old computer programmer from Washington “Since I was introduced to soap, people actually move within a 10 foot radius of me. I no longer have to sit alone on the bus. I even have friends now. My life has improved 100%! Thank you Clean Smelling People fund!” You too can make life changing moments, for people like Ryan, please won’t you call? For Ryan’s sake.
And, if you take a bar of white soap and cut it up into little cubes, you can sell it on the street corner to crackheads. They smell bad and will, for some reason, pay a lot of money for little pieces of white soap in plastic baggies.
you would be suprised at how cheap coffee is if you don’t get that double mocha cappucino expresso late with chives. also not going to starbucks helps. I’ve been places where you can get a bottomless pot of coffee for 1.00 at most.
You know, comparing otaku with hippies, I’ve found that otaku generally are not nearly as smelly. Back when I was pushing tobacco for the Sahakian family in the student slums, the shambling, poorly-dressed neohippies that infested that rotting ghetto would leave horrid, lingering stenches that made my dealer’s hovel uninhabitable for significant periods of time. Otaku, on the other hand, have a much smaller stench radius, and simple bodily odor does not hang nearly as much as the toxic mixtures of patchouli and filth that characterize the archtypical hippie.
I guess my sheltered life offers me a perspective of self-righteous condemnation and sanctimonious disdain that has not been muddled and diluted by being subjected to the varieties of traumatizing experiences in this world. It is a purer state of being and mind. Like sitting around and pondering my navel and what lonesome trees sound like when they fall, I am able to seek wisdom and inner peace by reflecting in upon myself. And so, from such noble heights, I pass judgment and advice down upon all those I see. Whether it is to defend or criticize, I have the utmost faith and conviction in what I feel. But I still love everyone because Jesus tells me to.
But that demon multi-tentacle penis raping/defiling of young adolescent virgin schoolgirls in clichéd little uniforms shit is still sick and wrong to the very core of a damaged collective human psyche and repressed frustrated culture.
And that’s all mister Kim will answer on that subject. Please folks, the conference is over. Beat it!
*starts to whack random people with a sap to*
Rios | Email | Homepage | 06.13.03 – 3:03 pm | #
i know someone like that
dead that is
well, also a none bather
Xiao | Email | Homepage | 06.13.03 – 3:27 pm | #
Also, it has been brought to my attention by this thing that calls itself my brain that a) Is the haloscan comment link disappearing from time to time? b) What in gawd’s good name is Fujisawa’s latest comic’s going to be about? c) Gooo HSK v.3.0!
I’m glad that noone invented the web-smell-o-matic yet. Maybe someone ought to tell the Otaku that basic hygiene might help in the conquest of their mainly fictional idols?
But… interesting point raised actually. Are we all lost souls searching for the meaning of life? Can we find it in the first place? _Is_ it something that _can_ be defined using the confines of our limited discrete logic?
Ok, the tentacle porn discussion should end. Not only is it an awful representation of anime at large, being only a small subset within the entire animtion genre of anime, but as DFG previously stated, it was illegal for a time to show penises going into vaginas, real or otherwise, so tentacles were substituted. It’s easier to create an animated chick to work with a set of demon tentacles than it is to build freaky tentacles for porn (as well as get an actress willing to have them shoved up her), so with lower production values and ease of medium (you can create anything you want simply by drawing it), more animated porn was produced, hence the rise of hentai.
As for perversion, well, the US is the lead producer of beastiality porn. If people having sex with animals makes it onto your “perversion meter”, back off about Japan. To sum up, if we’re making these assumptions, then they draw and enjoy fake girls in uniforms getting reamed on all sides by a semen-spewing demon while Americans enjoy watching a real chick get her vagina torn apart by a horse followed. Sex and all it’s perversions are found everywhere regardless of where you’re from.
Beat those run-on sentences!
I…know a guy just like this. He’s big and hulking and smells like meaty beef-fist. He loves Gundams and sentai teams (like Gatchaman), anything with the word “Tokyo” in it, and bad Japanese pop music simply because it’s in Japanese. He also only dates Asian women, or would, if anyone was willing to get within ten feet of him, let alone date him. His grasp on the prononciation of Japanese words seems to be skewed, despite the fact that he’s taking Japanese. He doesn’t get the concept of pure vowels as opposed to dipthongs, so “a” becomes “a-yeee”…this wouldn’t bother me so much if he didn’t try to speak it so often. I can hear linguists turning in their graves as he says “Sow keh?” to me for “Sou ka”, and I wonder if I possibly did something to deserve this. I try not to be an elitist…everyone has different ways of appreciating things, and while it may not be that way I act, it’s not my right to tell others how to live. But I CAN make fun of them for it. And now, a fitting end ot my long and convoluted comments – a haiku…
an ass-reaming courtesy
of Minako doll
Misha | Email | Homepage | 06.13.03 – 8:06 pm | #
Don’t kill H version 2!
He’s hot looking!
Let him live!!
Hm… OtakuBob seems now a lot less fat as in the previous number… damn.. it makes him that bit less like this guy I know, who’s really a spitting image of Bob#0029…
On the stinking matter… yes people stink… and not just otaku… I have to ride on a bus to town for 30 mis, and keep wondering why is it so hard to wash for some people??? Take 10 mins and just wash under your armpits and it’ll make a great deal of diffrence.. but nooo… and then I almost end up like Hv2
By the way, anime is what brought us Transformers, Star Blazers, and Voltron. All non-tenticle porn, non-Japanese culture related cartoons without sailor schoolgirl uniforms or whiny perverted adolescent boys. And they were mainstream in America, too.
Rob | Email | Homepage | 06.14.03 – 8:15 am | #
reminds me of my local Cosplay conventions….nevermind the lamers dressing up, (including my friend, and i dunno why i even bother helping him), the occasional hot chick, were the fanboys
and you’re absolutely right..the most rabid of them have this….funk..
it discolors posters, kills appetites and does other unmentionable things
don’t they wash? bleargh…
Idolo | Email | Homepage | 06.14.03 – 9:11 am | #
I found this on a message board, and I thought of our special friend Bob:
“[...]it’s basically an homage to the late great Ozama Tetsuka for you baka ne gaijin in the audicence he’s known as the father of anime, perhaps you’re familiar with two of his creations, Tetsuwan atom and Tetsujin 28, aka Astro Boy and Gigantor[...]and if you didn’t get that one here’s 200 yen, invest in a clue”
…And I want an apron like Hyung’s but we both will never have our heart’s wish granted…
Once, I almost kept a Sony corporative vest after I resigned (which would be half as cool as a copy joint apron) but no, you had to return it didn’t you? You fool!
On another note, well Whitey, I don’t think He’s a sellout as much as He just got fed up with the job and He just wants to fill the vacant in the Holy Trinity position before he goes to a vacation in Acapulco. Mexico, every retired deity’s choi–
*is struck by lightning*
Rios | Email | Homepage | 06.14.03 – 12:49 pm | #
Whitey, but not White?! | Email | Homepage | 06.14.03 – 1:11 pm | #
Those markings on his face are the Chinese characters for “two”. I’m guessing that this is to denote that this particular incarnation of Hyun is the second one.